Friday

Best Week 3 NFL Picks

In a National Football League early season full of blown calls, slow starts and surprise division leaders, one thing is constant and true: my Rams suck pig foreskin!

I’m livid that they’ve lost their soul–and it was mighty. I’m a native of two cities. Los Angeles born and Oakland bred. I lost both my teams and a part of me was lost with them. Of course I hated Frontiere, and despise Al Davis. And sure, I’ve been going to Lakers and Dodgers games since I was four. But my family loved football, and we loved our Los Angeles Rams.

You might not remember their proud tradition, but LA was once a strong professional football town. It was the birthplace of then local play-by-play announcer Dick Enberg’s signature “Oh my!” Hall of Famers and All Pro players littered the Ram roster like, The Fearsome Foursome, Merlon Olson (who went on to become the gentle giant neighbor on Little House on the Prairie), Fred Dryer (better known as TV’s Hunter), Deacon Jones (the real all-time sack leader, and the most feared player in history), Jack Youngblood (who once played with a broken leg), Jim Youngblood, Roman Gabriel, Jack Snow, Harold Jackson, James Harris, Lawrence McCutcheon, Pat Hayden. Those were the names of yesteryear, that today evoke memories of playoff battles with the Vikings and Cowboys–and the later hated Niner’s. Those were years peppered with division titles, in an era that ended with an epic Super Bowl XIV battle with the then invincible Steelers. How far my Rams have fallen. If only those frogmen had grabbed hold of Georgia’s cankles instead, eh?

Okay, back to the future. Btw, are you as stoked as I am that one of your stinker favorite underdog teams is now a possible playoff contender? Lmao…of course you are. Here’s my look at some sure bets for week three in the National Football League. Go Bills!

1) Buffalo (2-0) over Oakland (1-1) - If McFadden gets into the secondary, it’ll be great news for the Raiders, since the Bills linebackers are having trouble tackling their shadows. The bad news for the Raiders is that their O-line will give Russell and McFadden no help this weekend. With the Bills better in all three categories that count, their open field weaponry will runneth all over the still hapless Raiders. Big days for both Terry Edwards, and Marshawn (Hit&Run) Lynch. Look for Lynch to extend the NFL’s longest running streak, with his 16th straight game with a 10+ yard run or more.

2) Dallas (2-0) over Green Bay (2-0) - This will be a shootout. Romo and TO will connect for two TD’s, but it’ll be Barber that’ll give the Pack fits–especially on third and short conversions. This one category will help keep critical drives alive for the ‘Boys and allow them to exploit red zone opportunities. Great pass protection and the spreading of middle field riches by Romo to Whitten will help break the game open in the fourth quarter for Dallas.

3) Carolina (2-0) over Minnesota (0-2) - Christmas came early for Carolina–twice! Even without the league’s third loudest mouth, Steve Smith, Carolina has managed to point tauntingly at its detractors and shout SCOREBOARD! Note to the Vikings: Quarterbacks win championships.

4) Denver (2-0) over New Orleans (1-1) - Is New Orleans still a finesse team with no sac, or is that just the knock on Reggie (my famous-for-being-famous fiance has a huge ghetto booty) Bush? If so, the hungry Broncos will put a helmet and a hurting on the Big Easy riders. Cutler will be clinically precise in his execution of the league’s manliest playbook.

5) Atlanta (1-1) over Kansas City (0-2) - The Falcons defense should be able to get at and ruffle newbie QB Tyler Thigpen and sweep up the mess. A stingey Chiefs pass defense will mean that Atlanta will need to win this one on the ground.

6)Indianapolis (1-1) over Jacksonville (0-2) - Jaguar woes will deepen as their weakness at the guard position (with the early loss of both Vince Manuwai and Maurice Williams) continues to sabotage their once potent running attack. Reggie Wayne has owned the Jags the last three outings, posting consecutive 100+ yard receiving games. Look for Manning to post huge numbers.

7)Washington (1-1) over Arizona (2-0) -Skins blitz packages will make Warner weary, limiting Cardinal fire power. With six straight wins over the Cardinals, look for the Redskins to call Santa Moss’s number early and often, running away with this one at home.